Healing Shame and Restoring Intimacy: A Story of Redemption After Abortion
3 // Healing After Abortion: From Shame to Redemption [ft. Brittany Poppe]
Your past doesn’t get the final say—God’s redemption does. Even the deepest wounds and biggest regrets can be redeemed, restored, and used for His glory—yes, even that one.
When Brittany Poppe shared her story, it was raw, redemptive, and radically freeing. As a wife, mom, and pro-life ministry leader, Brittany bravely opens up about her journey from abortion at 17 to healing, hope, and God-glorifying intimacy in her marriage.
Let me tell you—this conversation is for every woman who’s ever looked in the mirror and wondered, “Am I too broken for intimacy? Too far gone for God’s goodness?” Spoiler alert: You’re not.
The Weight of Hidden Shame
Brittany held her abortion story in silence for years. The weight of that hidden shame? Crippling.
"We know the things we keep hidden actually weigh us down physically and emotionally," she shared. "But walking in the light—there’s freedom there."
Can we just pause and say amen?
We all have things we think disqualify us from joy or intimacy in marriage—past mistakes, abuse, misunderstandings about sex, or being shaped by the silence and shame of purity culture. But God? He’s in the business of turning shame into testimony.
Redeeming the Past, Rewriting the Narrative
When Brittany received a DM from a woman who, after hearing her story, wanted to know Jesus—she wept. And rightfully so. That's the redemptive ripple effect of obedience. Of openness.
Romans 8:28 comes alive here: He works all things together for the good of those who love Him.
Not some things. All things.
Let's Talk About Shame, Sex, and the Enemy's Favorite Lies
Brittany was vulnerable about how her past abortion—and the lies from purity culture—deeply impacted her experience of sex in marriage:
She often felt like she was doing something wrong, even in the safety of covenant.
Intimacy triggered fear and shame.
She believed (as many of us were told) that sexual sin was unforgivable.
Can you relate? Because I sure can.
The enemy loves to weaponize our past. He waits, patiently and manipulatively, for the perfect moment to whisper, “You’re still that girl.” But we serve a Savior who nailed every single accusation to the cross (Colossians 2:14).
So, How Do We Heal?
Here’s what Brittany learned (and what you can, too):
1. Renew Your Mind Daily
“If I don’t start my day with truth, the enemy hijacks it,” she says. Romans 12:2 is key—truth must anchor your thoughts.
2. Educate Yourself with Biblically-Sound Resources
Books like Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman helped her reframe intimacy as God intended—beautiful, mutual, and holy.
3. Speak the Truth Out Loud
Your story might be the spark that draws another woman to Jesus. You don’t need a platform—just obedience.
4. Connect with Your Spouse Beyond the Bedroom
Brittany learned to love her husband through his love language—even when it didn’t come naturally. Holding hands, sitting close, showing up. That’s intimacy, too.
Real Talk on Purity Culture
Both Brittany and I grew up hearing that purity was your worth and sexual sin was the worst kind. The result? Shame that lingered into marriage.
Let me say this boldly: Virginity is not the gospel. Redemption is.
Yes, God’s plan is abstinence before marriage—but your worth is not canceled because you “messed up.” Jesus redeems. Every. Time.
Takeaways for the Woman Wrestling with Her Past
You are not your worst mistake.
Shame is a liar, and the cross has the final word.
God’s design for sex and intimacy is good—and He wants you to experience that in your marriage.
Healing is possible, and intimacy can be restored.
Want to Deepen Your Connection in Every Area of Your Marriage?
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Rediscover God’s design for connection—emotionally, spiritually, physically, and beyond.
Final Word
If you’ve been carrying shame like a second skin, today’s your invitation to lay it down. The cross covers it all. You are seen, loved, and redeemed. Let that truth renew your mind—and your marriage.
Keep talking about the hard stuff, friend. That’s how healing starts. 💛
