Why Christian Women Are Done Being Silent About Sex (And You Should Be Too)

7 // The Good Girl’s Guide to Reclaiming Sex, Desire & The *M* Word [ft. Carlie Palmer-Webb]

We’ve spent decades whispering about something God called good. It’s time to rip off the shame, rewrite the narrative, and reclaim biblical intimacy without apology.

Let’s Talk About Sex—and Not in Whispers

You know that hush-hush vibe Christian women often carry when it comes to sex? Yeah, that needs to go. In this raw, real, and refreshingly honest episode of RIP IT OFF, Michelle Castro sits down with Carlie Palmer-Webb—aka The Christian Sex Educator—to unpack the shame, myths, and silence we've been handed…and why it’s time to trade them for truth.

Because here’s the deal: God didn’t design sex as a burden or a service. He designed it as a gift—pleasurable, connecting, sacred. And yet, so many Christian women feel disqualified from that joy because of what they weren’t taught (or what they were taught wrong).

Let’s change that. Today.

Meet Carlie Palmer-Webb: Breaking Silence with Holy Boldness

Carlie never planned to become a Christian sex educator. Like many of us, she grew up sheltered, with virtually no real sexual education—and zero context for pleasure or desire. But after diving into human development and sexuality studies, she couldn’t unsee what God was showing her: Christians are starving for truth in this area. So she’s answering the call.

Her mission? To provide shame-free sex education for Christians in every life stage—whether you're 19, 39, single, married, or figuring things out post-trauma.

Truth Bombs That Need to Be Heard

💥 Sex isn’t just for your husband.

The Church has often made women feel like sex is something we give to our husbands as an act of service—and that’s it. But God didn’t design it to be one-sided. He gave women bodies capable of immense pleasure (hello, clitoris with more nerve endings than the male counterpart!). That wasn’t an accident—it was on purpose, and it was called good.

💥 You don’t become “sexual” when you get married.

Sexuality isn’t a switch flipped on your wedding night. You’re a sexual being now, because God made you that way. Suppressing that truth creates shame. Embracing it—even in singleness—is part of understanding who you are and how God designed you.

💥 Lust and desire aren’t the same thing.

Desire is God-given. Lust is when we use that desire selfishly, without love or connection. The two are not synonymous—and confusing them leads to shame, guilt, and avoidance of something beautiful.

Let’s Talk About Masturbation (Yep, We’re Going There)

The Bible doesn’t directly talk about it, which means thoughtful, Spirit-led discernment is essential. Carlie and Michelle both lean toward this truth: sex is designed to be relational, not solo. That said, shame-free exploration—especially in marriage—can be incredibly helpful for women learning what brings them pleasure.

And let’s be real: if a tool like a vibrator helps you experience more connection and joy with your spouse? That’s not taboo. That’s wisdom. It’s all about your heart.

How to Embrace Your Sexuality as a Christian Woman

Carlie offers a helpful reframe: embracing your sexuality is a lot like embracing any God-given gift. It starts with gratitude, grows through learning, and shines when it's used in alignment with God’s purposes.

You don’t have to prove your sexuality to anyone. You don’t have to dress a certain way. You don’t have to flaunt anything.

You can learn, heal, grow, and connect in ways that are deeply modest and deeply holy—all at the same time.

Let’s Be Clear About the Real Enemy

Sex is good. God said so. But the enemy loves to twist what’s holy into something shameful. If he can wedge division between you and your husband in the bedroom, he’s already halfway to destroying your marriage.

You’re not imagining it—there is a spiritual battle happening. But the One who created sex is bigger than the one who wants to distort it. And He’s inviting you to come back to His design, with open hands and an open heart.

Key Takeaways:

• Sex isn’t a man’s reward—it’s mutual, beautiful, and meant for both.

• You are a sexual being before marriage, and that’s not sinful—it’s divine design.

• Understanding the difference between lust and desire is crucial to healing shame.

• Masturbation requires prayerful discernment—but shame has no place in the conversation.

• Vibrators, tools, and exploration can be incredible assets in marriage when used for connection, not escape.

• There is no part of your sexuality that God is afraid to talk about with you.

💌 Want to Deepen Intimacy in Every Area of Your Marriage?

Download our free guide:
👉 13 Types of Intimacy Every Christian Couple Needs
It’s not just about sex—it’s about connection, healing, and getting back to us.

🎧 Resources & Episode Links:

• Visit Carlie’s site: TheChristianSexEducator.com

• Follow Carlie on Instagram: @thechristiansexeducator

• Listen to this episode on: RIP IT OFF Podcast

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