When Sex Feels Like a Chore: How Christian Moms Can Reclaim Intimacy in the Chaos of Motherhood
8 // Why Christian Wives Feel Disconnected (and What No One's Saying About Sex) [ft Elyse Rooney]
Sex isn’t a chore—it’s a sacred connection. But when motherhood feels like survival mode, intimacy can quickly slide into the “leftovers” category. If you’ve ever felt like sex is just another box to check, this one’s for you.
Let’s Talk About the Unspoken: Sex and Seasons
We get it—marriage, motherhood, and sex are a whole lot messier than the church is talking about. As Elyse Rooney shared in this episode, the seasons of marriage change constantly. From honeymoon highs to toddler chaos, intimacy doesn’t always look like it did in year one—and that’s normal.
But here’s the truth: just because it’s normal doesn’t mean we settle for disconnection.
What the Church Isn’t Saying Loud Enough:
Intimacy evolves with the seasons—and that's not a failure, it's growth.
Sex isn’t just physical; it’s spiritual, emotional, and deeply bonding.
Christian women need space to talk about desire, disconnection, and healing without shame.
When You’re Tired, Touched-Out, and Tempted to Tune Out
You love your husband. But when the laundry pile’s high, the kids are cranky, and your energy is gone by 8 p.m., sex can feel like a duty rather than a desire.
Real Talk From Elyse:
“I started seeing sex like a task—right up there with mopping floors. But God gently shifted my mindset: I don’t have to do this; I get to connect with my husband in a way no one else can.”
Oof. That hits. And it’s the shift we all need.
So How Do We Redirect When the Connection Feels Off?
Here’s the gold: Intimacy doesn’t just happen. It’s cultivated—often intentionally—in the small, unsexy, everyday moments.
5 Intentional Ways to Reignite Intimacy (Even With Little Kids):
✅ Schedule it. Yes, it sounds unromantic. But it works. Put it on the calendar, create margin, and protect that time.
✅ Shift your mindset. Move from obligation to opportunity. You get to love him in a way no one else can.
✅ Communicate openly. Be honest—even if you’re exhausted or unsure how to say it. Vulnerability is intimacy.
✅ Flirt and have fun. Remember what made you laugh together. Go to the park. Ride the “flying fox.” (Americans, think zip line!)
✅ Pray together. Spiritual intimacy builds the foundation for emotional and physical connection. Don’t skip it.
Affirming His Masculinity Isn’t Worldly—It’s Biblical
Let’s not forget: the enemy is after our husbands too. And when we hold back intimacy out of resentment, exhaustion, or silence, it lands as rejection—even if that’s not our intention.
You, dear sister, are the only one who can affirm your husband’s sexual masculinity in a godly, grace-filled way.
Let that sink in.
“I get to be the one who sees the softest, most vulnerable part of him. What a privilege.” — Elyse
Healing Shame and Embracing Connection
If sex has ever felt shameful, complicated, or emotionally loaded—you’re not alone. But you’re also not stuck. God designed this part of marriage for joy, pleasure, unity, and holiness.
You can heal. You can rebuild. You can grow in biblical intimacy, even in the chaos of motherhood.
Ready to Go Deeper? Grab the Freebie: "13 Types of Intimacy Every Christian Marriage Needs"
Don't let disconnection become your default. There’s more than just one way to connect with your husband—and this free resource will show you exactly how.
➡️ Download the “13 Types of Intimacy” Freebie Here
Links & Resources from This Episode
🎙 Christian Motherhood Conversations Podcast (formerly The Wholesome Mama Show)
📱 Follow Elyse Rooney on Instagram: @wholesomemama
❤️ Mentioned Resource: Francie Winslow, Heaven in Your Home Podcast
Discover the deeper layers of connection God designed for your marriage.
This free guide unpacks the 13 types of intimacy every couple needs—emotional, spiritual, physical, and beyond. With practical examples and simple action steps, you’ll learn how to build closeness in every area of your relationship.
