5 Questions Christian Women Are Googling About Sex (And What God Actually Says)
Wondering if it's normal to want sex more than your husband? Or how to enjoy intimacy without shame? You're not alone. Here are 5 honest questions Christian women are Googling about sex, with biblical truth and grace-filled guidance.
12 // She’s Not Asking Her Pastor—She’s Asking Google: 5 Things Christian Women Are Too Afraid to Say Out Loud
You're not broken for Googling questions about sex and intimacy—you're brave. If no one else is talking about it, then we will. God's not blushing, and He’s not silent either.
We’re Ripping Off the Shame Today
Friend, let’s just call it: You’re doing all the right things. You love Jesus, you love your husband, and you want a Christ-centered marriage. So why are you still lying in bed at night, phone in hand, Googling stuff like, “Is it okay to want sex more than my husband?” or “Why don’t I enjoy it?”
It’s not because you’re rebellious. It’s because no one is talking about this in real life—not at your church, not in your Bible study, maybe not even in your marriage.
So you Google. Because she doesn’t flinch when you ask the hard stuff.
But here's the thing: you're not alone. And you're definitely not disqualified by your questions. You’re just a woman—a daughter of God—trying to figure out what freedom actually looks like in your marriage.
Let’s rip off the shame and get into the five biggest questions Christian women are Googling in secret… and what God really says about them.
1. Is It Okay That I Want Sex More Than My Husband?
Short answer: YES.
Long answer: Somewhere along the way, we got told that men are the ones with the strong sex drives and women are the keepers of morality and control. So when your desire outpaces his, it can feel… off. Like something must be broken.
But your desire isn’t dirty—it’s divine.
Hormones, stress, kids, and life circumstances all shift desire. And maybe—just maybe—it’s time for a deeper conversation and a hormone check, not a shame spiral.
👉 Quick Truths:
There’s no “normal” sex drive—just yours and his.
God gave you your desire on purpose.
You’re not too much. You’re human.
2. Why Don’t I Enjoy Sex?
Oof. This one is tough to admit. But it’s so real.
If you’ve never been taught about your body, or if you’ve carried shame from your past (or both), it’s no surprise that sex might feel more like duty than delight. Add to that the “good girls don’t…” messaging and it’s no wonder you’re confused or disconnected.
But guess what? God designed your body with twice as many pleasure points as your husband's. You were made for mutual enjoyment. Not silence. Not shame.
👉 Quick Truths:
Shame blocks pleasure.
Your body was fearfully and wonderfully made for connection.
Your pleasure matters—to God, and to your marriage.
3. How Do I Get Over My Past?
This one hits deep. Maybe you weren’t a virgin when you got married. Maybe there was abuse, addiction, abortion. Whatever your story—hear this loud and clear:
You are not the sum of your past.
The cross didn’t just cover your pretty parts. It covered the whole you. The hidden stuff. The stuff you think disqualifies you. Jesus sees it, covered it, and still calls you redeemed.
👉 Quick Truths:
Shame was never your permanent sentence.
Psalm 103 says He removes your sins as far as the east is from the west.
If you’re in Christ, you are fully redeemed. Period.
4. What Does the Bible Actually Say About Sex?
Here’s the beautiful truth: the Bible is not silent about sex. It just doesn’t come with a bullet-pointed checklist. It’s not crass—it’s poetic, sacred, and real (Song of Solomon, anyone?).
Sex isn’t just about permission or prohibition. It’s about connection. And you don’t need Google to tell you what’s allowed. You need the Word, the Spirit, and yes—your husband.
👉 Quick Truths:
Sex is sacred, not shameful.
God isn’t anti-pleasure—He’s pro-intimacy.
Ask God first. Then invite your husband into the conversation.
5. How Do I Talk to My Husband About What I Want?
This one’s vulnerable. Even for me.
Maybe you’ve tried. Maybe you’ve been met with silence, defensiveness, or your own fear. So you stay quiet, thinking it’s easier.
But intimacy can’t grow where honesty is missing.
You don’t need to give a TED Talk. Just start with curiosity. “Can I share something that’s been on my heart?” or “Can I tell you something I’ve been learning about myself?”
And if the words won’t come out? Write it down. Pray over it. Let God go first.
👉 Quick Truths:
Vulnerability is risky—but it's also holy.
Intimacy starts with honesty.
God cares about every detail. Invite Him into this.
Want to Go Deeper?
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Prayer prompts
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This isn’t fluff. It’s a guide to real, raw, Jesus-led healing. And through June 10, use code LAUNCH10 to save $10.
Resources Mentioned:
Submit your anonymous question via this Google form—no name, no judgment.
Final Word
If this made you pause, tear up, or just feel a little more seen—then friend, this journey is for you. You don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.
Freedom starts with one brave step.
Love you, friend.
Discover the deeper layers of connection God designed for your marriage.
This free guide unpacks the 13 types of intimacy every couple needs—emotional, spiritual, physical, and beyond. With practical examples and simple action steps, you’ll learn how to build closeness in every area of your relationship.
Why Sex Ed and Christian Parents Don’t Have to Be Enemies
If you’ve been silently panicking about how (or when) to talk to your kids about sex, you’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Rip It Off, Michelle Castro sits down with Kristen Miele of Sex Ed Reclaimed to tear off the lie that sex ed and Christianity are at odds. From unpacking purity culture wounds to offering grace-filled, age-appropriate tools, this conversation will equip you to start meaningful, biblically grounded conversations with your kids—without fear, shame, or overwhelm.
10 // If You Don’t Talk to Your Kids About Sex, the World Will [ft. Kristen Miele - Sex Ed Reclaimed]
If you’re waiting until your kids are teens to talk about sex, it’s already too late. Christian parents, we can’t keep handing the mic to culture and hoping for purity. It's time to reclaim the conversation.
Let’s Talk About the Awkward Stuff—Because the World Already Is
If you grew up in the era of purity rings and “True Love Waits,” chances are the sex talk in your home was either silent, shame-laced, or straight-up absent. Maybe you’re one of the many Christian moms who swore, “I want better for my kids…but I don’t even know where to start.”
Friend, you’re not alone. And you’re not unequipped.
God has called you to shepherd your child’s heart—and that includes their sexual development. The good news? You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to show up.
Kristen Miele of Sex Ed Reclaimed is leading a movement that’s changing the game for Christian parents—because sex ed doesn’t have to be scary, sinful, or secular.
Why We Get It So Twisted
Kristen’s story might sound a lot like yours: a Christian upbringing, no real conversations about sex, and a default belief that sex is bad until you’re married—and even then, it’s confusing.
She was so unsure of her role as a sex ed teacher, she actually thought it might be a temptation from the enemy. (Can you relate?)
Here’s the truth she discovered—and the truth we need to reclaim:
God created sex. The enemy just perverted it.
We’ve spent so long running from the world’s version of sex that we forgot to run to the One who designed it.
The Lie That Needs to Be Ripped Off
"Sex ed and Christianity are enemies."
Kristen says this is one of the most damaging lies circulating in the Church—and it’s time we tear it down.
Instead of avoiding sex ed out of fear, we need to equip our kids with a holy, healthy, biblical understanding of the body, intimacy, identity, and more.
We cannot afford to stay silent. Because someone is always teaching our kids about sex—and if it’s not us, it’s probably not truth.
The Real Problem? We’ve Never Seen It Done Well.
One of the reasons Christian parents freeze up is because we never had a model. And when you’ve only ever seen fear-based, shame-heavy approaches, you assume that’s all there is.
But Kristen flips the script.
With over 15 years of experience, she’s created a curriculum for parents that’s age-appropriate, biblically grounded, and rooted in God’s design. From toddlers to teens, it walks parents through real conversations (with video content to take the pressure off!).
How to Start the Conversation (Without Making It Weird)
You don’t need a whole weekend retreat to have “the talk.” In fact, ditch the talk altogether. What your kids need is a hundred little conversations over time.
Here’s how to get started:
🎯 Use everyday moments – A commercial, a song lyric, a question about a friend. Ask, “What do you think about that?”
🧠 Stay curious – Don’t assume. Ask open-ended questions. Let them speak.
👀 Be honest about your past – Your vulnerability gives them safety.
🛡 Teach truth without fear – Speak life over their identity and body.
📚 Use trusted resources – Kristen’s curriculum offers a full roadmap.
Why This Matters: Now More Than Ever
Our kids are already hearing about sex. Culture is loud, consistent, and unafraid. If we wait until our kids are “old enough” or “ready,” we’re missing the window to shape their hearts.
“If you don’t teach your child about sex, the enemy will.” – Kristen Miele
This isn’t about overexposing your kids. It’s about discipling them. Giving them vocabulary. Teaching them about their bodies, about boundaries, about God’s intentional and beautiful design.
Action Steps: What You Can Do Today
Start one conversation this week using a natural moment or question.
Visit sexedreclaimed.com to explore Kristen’s curriculum for ages 3–18.
Download the “13 Types of Intimacy” free resource to deepen your understanding of godly connection in marriage and parenting.
Pray over your child’s heart and your role as their guide—God chose you on purpose.
Resources + Episode Links
🎧 Listen to the full podcast episode here: [Rip It Off – with Kristen Miele]
📘 Sex Ed Reclaimed Curriculum
📲 Follow @sexedreclaimed on Instagram
📥 Grab the FREE “13 Types of Intimacy” resource to grow connection and confidence in your marriage.
CTA: You Were Made for This
Mama, you don’t need a seminary degree to disciple your kids in this area. You just need courage and Christ. The world is loud—but your voice matters more.
Want to start building connection today?
👉 Download the free “13 Types of Intimacy” resource now.
It’s time to rip off the lie that Christians can’t talk about sex—and reclaim the truth that God designed it for His glory and our good.
Discover the deeper layers of connection God designed for your marriage.
This free guide unpacks the 13 types of intimacy every couple needs—emotional, spiritual, physical, and beyond. With practical examples and simple action steps, you’ll learn how to build closeness in every area of your relationship.
Nothing Is Too Hard for God: A Raw Invitation to Rip Off Shame and Walk in Freedom
Feeling disconnected from your husband in the thick of motherhood? Discover how Christian women can shift from obligation to intimacy and build a faith-filled, thriving marriage—one intentional step at a time.
9 // Nothing Is Too Hard for God: Rip Off Shame + Find Freedom in The Collective [solo rip]
Shame will always whisper, “You're too far gone,” but God shouts, “Nothing is too hard for Me.” If you've felt like your story is too broken or your marriage too dry, this is your invitation to rip off the shame and walk in truth—because freedom starts with surrender.
When You’re Limping Through Marriage and No One Knows…
Let’s be real: some days feel too hard, too heavy, and too hopeless. Especially when it comes to intimacy, sex, and the parts of marriage no one’s talking about in Bible study. If you’ve ever thought:
“Something’s missing in my marriage…”
“I don’t even know how to want sex, let alone enjoy it.”
“I’m too messed up from my past to be fully present now…”
Friend, you’re not alone—and you’re not too far gone. This isn’t just a podcast episode, this is a holy wake-up call. The kind that reminds you of one powerful truth:
“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for Me?” — Jeremiah 32:27
Let That Sink In: Nothing Is Too Hard
That shame you carry like a second skin?
That disconnection in your marriage?
The trauma you’ve buried deep or the budget that feels impossible?
Not one of those things is too hard for God. Not a single one.
And if Jeremiah—imprisoned and surrounded by destruction—could believe that God still had a plan to restore what looked too far gone, then so can you. Because this isn’t about perfection, it’s about participation. It's about walking in the healing that only Jesus can bring—one surrendered step at a time.
Introducing: Rip It Off, The Collective
What started as a stirring in Michelle's heart has become a sacred space off social media, hosted on Voxer—a walkie-talkie style app where women can talk real about sex, shame, marriage, and intimacy.
Inside the Collective, You’ll Find:
🔥 Raw, voice-driven connection (anonymity-friendly but deeply personal)
🎙️ Episode deep dives with Q&As for deeper healing
💬 Safe space for real talk about the things most Christians shy away from
🙏 Prayer, encouragement, and community with women who get it
🫶 Ongoing support as you walk through your journey—not alone, but shoulder-to-shoulder
You’ll hear voices of women who are also limping, also healing, and also choosing to keep showing up.
Let’s Break This Down
Here’s your invitation to stop hiding:
You’re not the only one who feels disconnected from your body or your spouse.
You’re not the only one who wonders, “Will I ever want sex again?”
You’re not the only one carrying sexual shame from the past.
💡 But you are one decision away from joining a space where healing gets real.
Takeaways to Tuck in Your Heart
God’s not done with you. Not your story. Not your marriage. Not your healing.
Healing isn’t a one-and-done. It’s a constant surrender.
Community matters. Freedom is found in connection, not isolation.
You’re not too late. You haven’t missed your shot at intimacy, wholeness, or love.
Shame has no place here. Not with Jesus. Not in this Collective.
Ready to Rip Off the Shame?
It’s time to step out of hiding and into healing.
💌 Join Rip It Off: The Collective → bit.ly/ripitoffcollective
No pressure. No performance. Just presence. Just women walking together toward the God who makes all things possible.
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” — Matthew 19:26
Related Episodes & Resources
📖 Verse Study: Jeremiah 32:17 & 27, Isaiah 64:8, Matthew 19:26
📥 Free Resource: Download the “13 Types of Intimacy” PDF
Let’s surrender again today. Because the God of all flesh isn’t overwhelmed by your wounds—and He certainly isn’t finished writing your story.
Love you, friend. Let’s rip it off together. 💗
Discover the deeper layers of connection God designed for your marriage.
This free guide unpacks the 13 types of intimacy every couple needs—emotional, spiritual, physical, and beyond. With practical examples and simple action steps, you’ll learn how to build closeness in every area of your relationship.
When Sex Feels Like a Chore: How Christian Moms Can Reclaim Intimacy in the Chaos of Motherhood
Feeling disconnected from your husband in the thick of motherhood? Discover how Christian women can shift from obligation to intimacy and build a faith-filled, thriving marriage—one intentional step at a time.
8 // Why Christian Wives Feel Disconnected (and What No One's Saying About Sex) [ft Elyse Rooney]
Sex isn’t a chore—it’s a sacred connection. But when motherhood feels like survival mode, intimacy can quickly slide into the “leftovers” category. If you’ve ever felt like sex is just another box to check, this one’s for you.
Let’s Talk About the Unspoken: Sex and Seasons
We get it—marriage, motherhood, and sex are a whole lot messier than the church is talking about. As Elyse Rooney shared in this episode, the seasons of marriage change constantly. From honeymoon highs to toddler chaos, intimacy doesn’t always look like it did in year one—and that’s normal.
But here’s the truth: just because it’s normal doesn’t mean we settle for disconnection.
What the Church Isn’t Saying Loud Enough:
Intimacy evolves with the seasons—and that's not a failure, it's growth.
Sex isn’t just physical; it’s spiritual, emotional, and deeply bonding.
Christian women need space to talk about desire, disconnection, and healing without shame.
When You’re Tired, Touched-Out, and Tempted to Tune Out
You love your husband. But when the laundry pile’s high, the kids are cranky, and your energy is gone by 8 p.m., sex can feel like a duty rather than a desire.
Real Talk From Elyse:
“I started seeing sex like a task—right up there with mopping floors. But God gently shifted my mindset: I don’t have to do this; I get to connect with my husband in a way no one else can.”
Oof. That hits. And it’s the shift we all need.
So How Do We Redirect When the Connection Feels Off?
Here’s the gold: Intimacy doesn’t just happen. It’s cultivated—often intentionally—in the small, unsexy, everyday moments.
5 Intentional Ways to Reignite Intimacy (Even With Little Kids):
✅ Schedule it. Yes, it sounds unromantic. But it works. Put it on the calendar, create margin, and protect that time.
✅ Shift your mindset. Move from obligation to opportunity. You get to love him in a way no one else can.
✅ Communicate openly. Be honest—even if you’re exhausted or unsure how to say it. Vulnerability is intimacy.
✅ Flirt and have fun. Remember what made you laugh together. Go to the park. Ride the “flying fox.” (Americans, think zip line!)
✅ Pray together. Spiritual intimacy builds the foundation for emotional and physical connection. Don’t skip it.
Affirming His Masculinity Isn’t Worldly—It’s Biblical
Let’s not forget: the enemy is after our husbands too. And when we hold back intimacy out of resentment, exhaustion, or silence, it lands as rejection—even if that’s not our intention.
You, dear sister, are the only one who can affirm your husband’s sexual masculinity in a godly, grace-filled way.
Let that sink in.
“I get to be the one who sees the softest, most vulnerable part of him. What a privilege.” — Elyse
Healing Shame and Embracing Connection
If sex has ever felt shameful, complicated, or emotionally loaded—you’re not alone. But you’re also not stuck. God designed this part of marriage for joy, pleasure, unity, and holiness.
You can heal. You can rebuild. You can grow in biblical intimacy, even in the chaos of motherhood.
Ready to Go Deeper? Grab the Freebie: "13 Types of Intimacy Every Christian Marriage Needs"
Don't let disconnection become your default. There’s more than just one way to connect with your husband—and this free resource will show you exactly how.
➡️ Download the “13 Types of Intimacy” Freebie Here
Links & Resources from This Episode
🎙 Christian Motherhood Conversations Podcast (formerly The Wholesome Mama Show)
📱 Follow Elyse Rooney on Instagram: @wholesomemama
❤️ Mentioned Resource: Francie Winslow, Heaven in Your Home Podcast
Discover the deeper layers of connection God designed for your marriage.
This free guide unpacks the 13 types of intimacy every couple needs—emotional, spiritual, physical, and beyond. With practical examples and simple action steps, you’ll learn how to build closeness in every area of your relationship.
Why Christian Women Are Done Being Silent About Sex (And You Should Be Too)
Discover how Christian women are breaking free from shame around sex and embracing biblical intimacy. Learn from Michelle Castro and Carlie Palmer-Webb in this bold, grace-filled conversation that tackles truth, healing, and God's original design for sexual connection.
7 // The Good Girl’s Guide to Reclaiming Sex, Desire & The *M* Word [ft. Carlie Palmer-Webb]
We’ve spent decades whispering about something God called good. It’s time to rip off the shame, rewrite the narrative, and reclaim biblical intimacy without apology.
Let’s Talk About Sex—and Not in Whispers
You know that hush-hush vibe Christian women often carry when it comes to sex? Yeah, that needs to go. In this raw, real, and refreshingly honest episode of RIP IT OFF, Michelle Castro sits down with Carlie Palmer-Webb—aka The Christian Sex Educator—to unpack the shame, myths, and silence we've been handed…and why it’s time to trade them for truth.
Because here’s the deal: God didn’t design sex as a burden or a service. He designed it as a gift—pleasurable, connecting, sacred. And yet, so many Christian women feel disqualified from that joy because of what they weren’t taught (or what they were taught wrong).
Let’s change that. Today.
Meet Carlie Palmer-Webb: Breaking Silence with Holy Boldness
Carlie never planned to become a Christian sex educator. Like many of us, she grew up sheltered, with virtually no real sexual education—and zero context for pleasure or desire. But after diving into human development and sexuality studies, she couldn’t unsee what God was showing her: Christians are starving for truth in this area. So she’s answering the call.
Her mission? To provide shame-free sex education for Christians in every life stage—whether you're 19, 39, single, married, or figuring things out post-trauma.
Truth Bombs That Need to Be Heard
💥 Sex isn’t just for your husband.
The Church has often made women feel like sex is something we give to our husbands as an act of service—and that’s it. But God didn’t design it to be one-sided. He gave women bodies capable of immense pleasure (hello, clitoris with more nerve endings than the male counterpart!). That wasn’t an accident—it was on purpose, and it was called good.
💥 You don’t become “sexual” when you get married.
Sexuality isn’t a switch flipped on your wedding night. You’re a sexual being now, because God made you that way. Suppressing that truth creates shame. Embracing it—even in singleness—is part of understanding who you are and how God designed you.
💥 Lust and desire aren’t the same thing.
Desire is God-given. Lust is when we use that desire selfishly, without love or connection. The two are not synonymous—and confusing them leads to shame, guilt, and avoidance of something beautiful.
Let’s Talk About Masturbation (Yep, We’re Going There)
The Bible doesn’t directly talk about it, which means thoughtful, Spirit-led discernment is essential. Carlie and Michelle both lean toward this truth: sex is designed to be relational, not solo. That said, shame-free exploration—especially in marriage—can be incredibly helpful for women learning what brings them pleasure.
And let’s be real: if a tool like a vibrator helps you experience more connection and joy with your spouse? That’s not taboo. That’s wisdom. It’s all about your heart.
How to Embrace Your Sexuality as a Christian Woman
Carlie offers a helpful reframe: embracing your sexuality is a lot like embracing any God-given gift. It starts with gratitude, grows through learning, and shines when it's used in alignment with God’s purposes.
You don’t have to prove your sexuality to anyone. You don’t have to dress a certain way. You don’t have to flaunt anything.
You can learn, heal, grow, and connect in ways that are deeply modest and deeply holy—all at the same time.
Let’s Be Clear About the Real Enemy
Sex is good. God said so. But the enemy loves to twist what’s holy into something shameful. If he can wedge division between you and your husband in the bedroom, he’s already halfway to destroying your marriage.
You’re not imagining it—there is a spiritual battle happening. But the One who created sex is bigger than the one who wants to distort it. And He’s inviting you to come back to His design, with open hands and an open heart.
Key Takeaways:
Sex isn’t a man’s reward—it’s mutual, beautiful, and meant for both.
You are a sexual being before marriage, and that’s not sinful—it’s divine design.
Understanding the difference between lust and desire is crucial to healing shame.
Masturbation requires prayerful discernment—but shame has no place in the conversation.
Vibrators, tools, and exploration can be incredible assets in marriage when used for connection, not escape.
There is no part of your sexuality that God is afraid to talk about with you.
💌 Want to Deepen Intimacy in Every Area of Your Marriage?
Download our free guide:
👉 13 Types of Intimacy Every Christian Couple Needs
It’s not just about sex—it’s about connection, healing, and getting back to us.
🎧 Resources & Episode Links:
Visit Carlie’s site: TheChristianSexEducator.com
Follow Carlie on Instagram: @thechristiansexeducator
Listen to this episode on: RIP IT OFF Podcast
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Discover the deeper layers of connection God designed for your marriage.
This free guide unpacks the 13 types of intimacy every couple needs—emotional, spiritual, physical, and beyond. With practical examples and simple action steps, you’ll learn how to build closeness in every area of your relationship.